Friday, 17 September 2021

Transitions 02. 10. 2021

It feels unreal to be able to fly out of the country in the middle of a pandemic, yet so refreshing at the same time, knowing a new chapter has unfolded. Although my body is still trying to adapt to the new environment, shifting my perspective to the current situation, my mind couldn't stop reminiscing about the things I have comfortably adapted to in the past. New beginnings are always portrayed as this happy phase, an overrated story, which I think is worth acknowledging, however, I wonder if anyone ever talks about the importance of "Closure," or is it just a story we all try ignoring... as pain is usually the outcome.


For the past few months, I have stayed at the same place physically, wondering, hoping if things are going to get better, if there is a positive outcome that can come out of Quarantine, and honestly speaking it took me a while to really realize what was happening. It took a while to shift my old habits, my old perspectives, my old definition of comfort, and being able to understand the difference between what I want and what I need for that particular season of my life. I realized that the mind is a truly powerful battlefield, the decisions we make on a daily basis come from it, and because it does, we have to make sure to fill it with things that add value to our lives, whatever self-identified value you hold.


My sister once told me that a love song which talks about the conflict between your heart and mind is just a song that sells but isn't reality in most cases, she believes that the mind is extremely powerful it can change the world and all, which I do believe, but I believe that there are different conflicts that both the mind and the heart can face at the same time. For example, referring back to my journey about adapting to a new place, growing, and undertaking challenges, moving on from circumstances in the past that only offer uncertainty, all this is possible through the force and drive that your mind provides. 


However, I also believe that when undertaking challenges, growing, moving on, there is a subconscious feeling that’s left for our hearts to keep. That’s why when we say goodbye to our loved ones we make room and save spaces in our hearts for them, or when something bad happens, your mind makes that instant decision to let it go, but deep down you know a part of you still wants to do something about it. Therefore, Closure is as important as new beginnings.


Closure is what most of us need to gain new perspectives to move forward with our lives. Closure is a decision, it is a decision that we as humans are capable of making if we want to, but as I said, closure is the decision you make with both your heart and mind, so give yourself the closure you need, take the time you need to heal, because nobody can provide you the closure you need as much as you can provide for yourself. Sending love to everyone who is in need of closure.

A letter to my nieces and nephews

Notes from 2020, dedicated to Ezra, Arya, Kezia, Sofia, and Aira. 

When I say being an aunt is possibly one of my favorite things/ “roles” in the world, I think I’m speaking for most people. As the youngest of four, I was always the baby child of the family. I didn’t get the “annoying part of having a younger brother and sister,” well I mean I got the “annoying part of having a wide range age gap with my older brother and two sisters”, I mean it’s an adventure. 

Being an aunt has taught me a lot about myself, and a lot about how extremely pure children are. It taught me the process of life that I myself never got a chance of seeing when I was their age. It taught me to love and responsibility, possibly the best combination of hecticness. My siblings have always told me that bringing a child to this “dangerous world” is a big responsibility, to be honest, I never understood what that meant before... I mean I was only fourth-teen when my first nephew Ezra was born, and now he’s all so grown (going six years old this year) and it’s making me miss the old days.


Despite the current circumstance the world is facing, the political and economical struggle around the world. I wanted to simply encourage you to take it day by day, just like little children. I believe that no matter what age and stage of life we’re in, all of us are facing our own struggles. Most nights we might even feel like we have no air in our lungs. 


Live life day by day, take it to step by step, just like little children. There is always hope and something positive behind the storm. It took a pandemic to happen to make us realize that maybe the things that truly matter and have the greatest value are in front of us. 


Thank you my beloved Ezra, Arya, Kezia, Sofia & Aira for teaching me the most simple lesson, yet have the greatest value. I’m extremely sad and torn about what you have to face forward with the world, but I’ll bet my life on it because I know each one of you will make it.